Bitch Slap of Common Sense: Don't Look Stupid

Ladies, ladies, ladies.

It was over 70 degrees today in Los Angeles. 80 on the valley.

Take. Off. Your. Scarf.

Take. Off. Your. Scarf!!

You're wearing a scarf. Wrapped fifteen times, so that it looks like a lavender goiter protruding from what used to be your neck, but what I now assume is some sort of scarred/ Frankenstein bolt appendage since you choose to put eight pounds of fabric around it.

You're one step away from looking like a Dickensian ragamuffin who will ask me for porridge.

Whatever cute shape you might have is ruined because you look like you killed a muppet and attached it to yourself as some sort of gruesome prize.

You look stupid. Literally. You look like you have little to none of the sense God gave you. It's hot! It's not scarf weather! If you can wear it with short shorts and a tee shirt, TAKE IT OFF!

I don't care if Jennifer Aniston does it, young lady! She looks stupid too!

Now that we have that settled....

Can we discuss the Uggs?

I mean, It was over 70 degrees today in Los Angeles. 80 on the valley...

Bitch Slap of Common Sense: You are a Weirdo

Lucy: So this girl I knew in high school found me on Facebook. I told her I was writing a romance novel, and made a joke about heaving bosoms. She read it as me talking about how much I like having bosoms. Isn’t that funny?

Lucy’s Hubby: Yeah.

Lucy: I told her I did like having bosoms though.

Lucy’s Hubby: So you haven’t talked to this girl in 10 years?

Lucy: Nope.

Lucy’s Hubby: And your first conversation you mention heaving bosoms.

Lucy: Yes.

Lucy’s Hubby: This, honey, is why people think you are weird.

Lucy: Oh. Really?

Lucy’s Hubby: Yes.

Lucy: So that’s why.

Lucy’s Hubby: Yes.

Lucy: Well, okay. Do you think I’m weird?

Lucy’s Hubby: Yes.

Lucy: Do you mind?

Lucy’s Hubby: No

Lucy: Well that’s good. I do like heaving and having bosoms.

Lucy’s Hubby: I like you having bosoms, too.

Bitch Slap of Common Sense Trifecta!

We’re not sure what’s more sad… that these question askers went to a website to ask these questions or that they couldn’t figure out the answer for themselves. Presenting… more Bitch Slap of Common Sense!

Upon reading a Bitch Slap of Common Sense post, the question asker is directed to slap their forehead hard and examine why they do not have the sense the Good Lord gave them. Slap may be administered by a friend as well. We encourage that.

Dear AskJohnQ.com:
I have the following symptoms: 1.There are blisters and sores on left hand and elbow. 2.There are feeings of hot or warm sensations in my hand but it is normal to the touch. 3.I also suffer extreme pain and weakness in this hand. 4. In addition, I experience extreme temperature changes in this hand too. 5. Sometimes I do have chills.
Need Help

Dear Needs More Help Than They Know:
Call a doctor.

Dear AskJohnQ.com:
WHEN MY CAR IS IN IDOL OR IN PARK IT HAS DIED. IT HAS ONLY DONE THIS THREE TIMES AND NOT CONSECUTIVE. ANY IDEAS AS TO WHAT MIGHT BE THE PROBLEM?

Dear Your Car Actually Idles:
Call a mechanic.

Dear AskJohnQ.com:
If my father, a non-US resident wishes to gift me with money to pay off my mortgage, am I liable to pay taxes? Is there an allowance so I do not have to pay tax for the gift? Thanks!

Dear Audit Waiting to Happen:
Call an accountant.

PS: Anyone wanna guess what Contestant #1 has? Since he asked us? Lucy guesses... Scabies!

Bitch Slap of Common Sense!

To ring in the New Year, here at Brutally Honest Babes we are going to inaugurate a new feature: the Bitch Slap of Common Sense. Upon reading a Bitch Slap of Common Sense post, the question asker is directed to slap their forehead hard and examine why they do not have the sense the Good Lord gave them. Slap may be administered by a friend as well. We encourage that.

From Ask JohnQ.com: We have a lady in our church that is always fanning herself the problem is she does not realize that as she is doing this she is also fanning the people sitting around her. One day my wife's arm was ice cold from this lady fanning herself. I feel sorry for her that she is always so hot but how can I politely tell her that she is making other people cold with her fanning? I don't want to hurt her feelings but she does sit near us quite often and the cold wind is very uncomfortable. Please help.

Dear You Can Hear The Fanning Wind In-Between Your Ears, Can’t You?

Sit somewhere else.