POOP: Oh, Sweet Mystery of Life At Last I've Found You!

Friends, when you find yourself in times of trouble, do you ever wish you could consult with one of the great minds in the universe and ask them advice? We do. Maybe Mother Theresa? The Dalai Lama? The crazy guy on your corner with “End of the World” signs and a tinfoil hat?

Even the Brutally Honest Babes sometimes need life advice so that we may, in turn, pass wisdom on to you, our five readers. One can feel so very alone on the great Internets, so thank the good Jebus that someone, FINALLY, is here to help us all. Gwyneth Paltrow.

Gwynnie has a new site called “GOOP” (www.goop.com). There’s not too much content yet, but what is there has inspired us to be like her. No, we can’t magically grow 10 inches, suddenly gain millions of dollars from our beautiful, Hollywood parents, or spontaneously pop out a fruit baby, but we can emulate her ability to give super neato advice.

So, in the spirit of GOOP – we give you POOP.

GOOP tells you to ‘Nourish the inner aspect.’

POOP tells you to ‘Get through the fucking day.’

GOOP says ‘I love being in spaces that are clean and feel nice.’

POOP says ‘I love being in spaces I don’t have to clean. That’s nice.’

GOOP advises ‘Make your life good.’

POOP responds ‘Really? Life is supposed to be GOOD? Thanks Gwynnie! We’ve been doing it all wrong!’

GOOP says ‘Invest in what’s real.’

POOP says ‘Thank goodness we’re too poor to invest in anything, or else we’d be living in a cardboard box now!’

GOOP tells you to ‘Read something beautiful.’

POOP tells you to ‘Read us instead!’

GOOP says ‘Whether you want… some thoughts from one of my sages….’

POOP says ‘If we want advice from an herb, it won’t be sage. Wink wink.’

GOOP: Over the years I have tried lots of different things. I have made lots of mistakes. But I have figured out some things in the process and I would like to share them with you.

POOP: We have no idea what we’re doing. We blog for free on the Interwebs to fill an empty place in our bitter little lives. But please keep reading so that we have some small validation!

POOP – Get Through the Fucking Day ™