This guy I have been dating for six months always makes it a point that we take turns paying. I don’t mind taking turns, but hate the way he emphasizes it. When it is his turn to pay, he has already planned what we will do on our date. Sometimes I have reasons I can’t go out the day I get paid. When this happens, he will say something like; "you just don’t want to go because it is your turn to pay." This really bothers me. I have told him this, but he continues with the same behavior.
Perhaps what surprised me the most was when my birthday fell on a payday and it was my turn to pay. He asked me if I wanted to go out for sushi for my special day. Guess who paid for the meal? I did.
Is this kind of turn taking normal for couples? One time I jokingly told him that he should learn to treat a woman like a lady once in a while. He suggested that I was materialistic and manipulative. Does this guy need a relationship boot camp or should I just move on?
Dear Beauty with a Beast:
You paid for sushi on your birthday because it was “your turn”? Asking to be treated like a lady is materialistic and manipulative? Hmmm… let’s see if we can put our finger on your problem. Oh, yes. Your boyfriend’s an asshole.
Sharing in payment for dates is not in and of itself a bad thing. Although we do like the double standard of men paying for the first couple of dates at least, after a while it’s lovely for the woman to contribute to the fun filled festivities. And before any man comments on how awful that double standard is, and how if women want equality they should always go dutch… as soon as we make the same amount for the same job you do, then we can re-evaluate our stance. And - our hair costs way more.
Listen to the little voice inside of you. It’s telling you he’s domineering and manipulative about money. What happens when you marry Mr. Douchey? Does he help pay for the baby’s delivery, or not because it wasn’t him who was hospitalized? And have fun itemizing the phone bill so that you pay for your phone calls. In a long-term relationship, money troubles will come and go – do you really want this man on your team for the long haul? We think he only has one team - his own. You deserve a quarterback who will take a sack for you. Tee hee! We said sack.