Tuesday, April 1, 2008

April's Fool

Dear Abby: When a person cooks a meal, isn't it also his or her responsibility to do the dishes when the meal is finished? If not, then who should? I think the cook should be responsible. – Boiling Over in St. Louis

Dear Will Not Work for Food:
You must be the recipient of the food, because we can’t believe the cook would write this.

We totally agree with you. They slaved over a hot stove to cook, and their responsibility does not end there. They should dab your face with your napkin as you eat, perhaps even cut your food into bite-size-pieces. After they are finished with the dishes, they should join you in the loo, so that they may easily wipe your ass as you divest yourself of the food they generously prepared. If any bits spilled on your clothes from out your slack-jawed mouth, the cook should immediately skip to the creek so they may wash them and beat them on a fucking rock as they sing “Old Man River”. Why should their job stop at cooking? It’s madness. If they are not burping you after the meal, they are hateful and you should go eat at some other person’s house. Not ours.

* Edited to add: Lucy wrote the above. Ethel pointed out that at a fancy dinner party, the guests should not do the dishes. Lucy totally agrees, but took the tone of the letter as more of a friend at friend's house kind of thing, as Boiling Over didn't say "dinner party". If it's a friends or family kind of thing, we agreed that at least offering to help with the clean-up is the right thing to do. That is all.

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