Friday, December 28, 2007

But I Usually Have Such Good Luck with Online Psychics!

From Ask I recently consulted this online psychic and she told me that to solve a problem I would need to give a deposit of $1000 dollars and I would get it back in three days and return she sent me these crystals. Its been 2 weeks and I haven’t gotten my deposit back and cannot get in touch with her as she does not answer her phone. The money was transferred through western union and there was no receipt. I know this might be difficult but is there anyway that I could get my money back?

Dear I Hope You Like Your New $1000 Psychic Crystals:
*Ahem* We didn’t want to mention it right away in our advice column, but we here at Brutally Honest Babes are also Pcertified Psychics ©. We work for cheap wine, vintage clothes and Big Macs. We’re certain you have already sent your payment, so we’ll get right to it.

We don’t have a crystal ball, but Ethel has a dream book we like. Your personal troubles stem from a complete lack of common sense and possibly a chronic case of Pstupdity ©. You should invest your next $1000 in a shrink to help in problem solving, or possibly a therapeutic shopping trip involving Cynthia Rowley dresses and a shiny new Rabbit Pearl. You already know you’ve been taken. File a police report – bring all e-mail communication, Western Union account information, etc. to the police when you file. There’s a tiny minuscule chance they will catch this person, but in reality you should kiss your money goodbye. Damn online psychics ain’t what they used to be. Except for us, of course.

The moral of the story is – DON’T SEND $1000 TO A STRANGER OVER THE INTERNET. Sorry about the yelling – but you brought it on yourself.

Wow. We got through that without calling you a dumb shit once! Yay us.

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