Dear Brutally Honest Babes,
This question has a few parts, so I hope I get it right and clear. Anyway, I'm a 24 year old single with a degree and a fairly successful job in The City. However, two years ago I met a guy on an online dating site. He's a Country Boy and a nurse practitioner. We had one date and I ended up moving to Asia for a job. Well, I've been back for some time now and though he lives 2.5 hours away (in the COUNTRY!) I have driven out to see him several times. The first time I went, it was heaven. The
second time he was offish and I was distracted going off to a conference from work and it wasn't so good. I was ready to throw in the towel, but last weekend I went to see him again. The weekend was amazing, he took me out to meet his parents and slowly I'm beginning to think this City Girl might have to learn some Country ways. He said he loves every moment we spend together and that I make him smile. Anyway, the biggest issue is now I keep going to see him and he has yet to come to see me. He tells me he's interested, he's just very busy, and assures me he will come to The City as soon as he can. Still, I know he has some weekends free and still does not come. Do you think it's a sign he's not as serious as I am? But how do I interpret meeting his parents? And how does a City girl turn into a Country girl, or at least how is she sure that living in the Country won't drive her insane? Should I even be worrying about this yet? Anyway, just wondering about your thoughts.
-Sitting in the City
Dear Sitting in the City,
The country has its charms, and we understand the desire to haul yer wagon two and a half hours away for a roll in the hay with a strapping farm boy! However; this rural swain of yorn must know all about courtin’ by now. He may be plowin’ yer field while he’s playin’ the field. Sounds to us like y’all are not exclusive just yet, and if the almanac we’ve been consultin’ is correct, you’d better let him do a might more towards winning your affection. He has got to put in some work, or he just won’t appreciate the relationship as much!
It is lovely that you were able to meet his parents, though that seems to have come about rather quickly. It was a test, we think, to see if you can live up to Mama’s standards before he invests too much into you. Now that you’ve passed said test (we hope!), he ought to be a bit more keen to impress you. Sit tight and let him, no MAKE him, come to you. Country boys and city boys have something in common. They are both hunters at heart. Run away! (OK, no need to go all the way back to Asia) Sit tight in the city until his testicles descend and he becomes brave enough to face the perils of your world for a change. You are worth the chase! If he is not willing to put in a bit of effort to see you, do you really want him all that much?
Do you always want to feel that little nagging in the back of your mind that you tried too hard and he didn’t try hard enough? Both of us babes have been there and done that and it sucks. If he wants you now, he will want you even more if you can manage to be a bit coy. It’s give and take. Sounds like it’s your turn to take for a spell. As to the differences in your upbringing and lifestyle, one of us Babes is married to a bona fide country man. We have certainly experienced our share of culture shock, but have found that our differences can be overcome and even celebrated through diplomacy.
Think of the two of you as being from different countries, and enjoy experiencing his way of life as you share yours with him. If you wind up taking the old “shotgun wedding” route, consider compromising and both move to the suburbs!
Sunday, December 16, 2007
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