Wednesday, October 3, 2007

Do They Even Have Creeks in New York City?

Dear Brutally Honest Babes,
I'm single, good-looking and smart, but I can't seem to get a date for the life of me. I have younger, married men slobbering all over me, but finding an eligible guy has been next to impossible. Are there no single attractive men over the age of puberty in the City of New York?? I tried online dating services, but ended up going out with losers, like the idiot who announced he was hung-over on our date after showing up 45 minutes late or the guy with the picture that was at least 15 years and 25 pounds out of date. I just have trouble meeting smart, funny and, most important, available men. I have to be doing something wrong. Help!! – Up the Creek

Dear Up the Creek,
We two BHBs had to specifically consult regarding your question, as it’s a good one. Our conversation went something like this…

Lucy: Did you see that question from Up the Creek?

Ethel: Yeah – that’s a toughie!

Lucy: I know – we’re old married ladies.

Ethel: Well, not old.

Lucy: We’re hot young married ladies.

Ethel: We met our husbands on the job, what do we know?

Lucy: Maybe that’s not an option for her. She’s in New York, maybe she’s an actress and all the guys she meets at work are gay.

Ethel: Or corporate douchebags.

Lucy: Indeed.

Ethel: She needs a change of pace – a new place to meet men.

Lucy: She needs a new creek! Ha hahaa! Get it? She’s Up the Creek??

Ethel: Wow, that’s a bad joke. Don’t use that in the blog.

Lucy: OK.

Ethel: She needs to join a church! Lots of nice men at a church!

Lucy: Church is a great place to meet nice men – but maybe she’s not the churchey type.

Ethel: Hmmm.

Lucy: Hmmm. Hey! Maybe a class! Art or cooking or something like that!

Ethel: Ooh ooh – I like it. Maybe an improv class in New York! Lots of funny guys in improv class in my experience. Straight, too.

Lucy: Yes! She needs to identify the type of man she wants, and seek a new locale where they are likely to congregate in the wild.

Ethel: Or maybe these married guys can recommend friends of theirs for her to date.

Lucy: I don’t know – it could end up like that “Sex and the City” episode where Charlotte did that and it turned out the married guy was a creep and hit on her. Remember that one?

Ethel: No.

Lucy: Well. That’s what happened. And she already has married creeps hitting on her. Maybe that’s not such a good idea.

Ethel: I don’t remember that episode at all.

Lucy: They re-run it all the time.

Ethel: OK.

Lucy: What else for Miss Creek?

Ethel: Well, there’s that site – – where they have online groups for all kinds of activities. Maybe she could join a jogging or investing club or something and meet men that way. Gear the club towards the type of man she wants.

Lucy: Maybe! But it might sound like we’re shilling for meetup.

Ethel: I wish we were.

Lucy: Me too!

Ethel: Then we’d get paid.

Lucy: Mmmmmm… Paid.

Ethel: It that all we have?

Lucy: Yup, I think so.


Anonymous said...

I like meeting people at the grocery store. everybody needs to shop for groceries. try it. maybe we'll run into each other.

Anonymous said...

Lucy and Ethel, if you had tried online dating would you have wound up with Ricky and Fred?