Monday, July 28, 2008

Unsolicited Advice: If You Are a Sado-Masochist, Take a Man to a Musical

We love musicals. Musicals are Mother's milk to us Babes. They are burning acid to our menfolk. Stage musicals, movie musicals, random adaptations of both--we laugh and cheer and sing along while in the seats beside us our husbands cringe and writhe in agony. While it is possible for us chicas to actually enjoy a shoot 'em up bang bang thriller or even a blood-n-guts flick every now and again, we must acknowledge that our menfolk simply cannot, repeat, CANNOT, enjoy say, Xanadu or Mama Mia or even Chicago (OK, maybe they would enjoy the black fishnet/thong/stilettos number). What we're getting at is this: ladies, if you see the wonder in a fairy tale, if you like big, fat, fabulous musicals--do yourselves and your significant others a favor. Buy your man a six-pack o' beer and hand him the TV remote and tell him he can watch whatever he wants and you're going to the movies with your girlfriends. Trust us. Everyone will have a lovely time. If your man actually wants to go with you to see, say, Thoroughly Modern Millie, um, he's probably gay. Gay guys do make great dates. If your man is hetero though, give him a break. Don't bust his balls. You need them too, after all. As ze French would say, "Vive la difference!"

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