All's Fair in Love and Whore

Dear BHBs:
I have the hots for a guy. He and I are just friends at this point, but he flirts with me. He just started dating someone else, so it's not serious yet. I want to steal him away from her. How do I make him my friend with benefits?
Hot to Trot

Dear Hot to Tart:
We suppose you have to figure out what you really want out of this. If he be not married, then TECHNICALLY he's still fair game. However, there are feelings to be considered on three accounts: yours, his, and his new pseudo-girlfriend's. Are they steady? Is he free to date others at this point? Do you want him as a real boyfriend, or simply for the random booty call?

You say he is not serious with the new gal just yet. If that is the case, then we believe you may without guilt continue to flirt and be mysterious and sexy and taunt him until he must hunt you down and make you his woman. If he is somebody's boyfriend, then leave him be! OK, so maybe he's not married; but do you really want to be the "other woman"? Ethel has certainly been there and done that on several occasions and it is really not fun. As the "other woman" you may experience a brief euphoria of power, but that quickly fades as you realize that you cannot really have what you want from your lover. He will be divided in his affections, and so too will you, as you will both love and hate yourself. Then, of course, you will have always that nagging realization (should you actually manage to steal him away from his girlfriend) that you know he is a cheater (and so are you) and that neither of you can really ever trust one another. Ethel's been there and done that too. It is yucky.

As to making him your "friend with benefits," that is very simple. Just invite him over to your pad and have sex with him. Even if you are lousy in bed, few men would say "no" to free and easy sex. Just don't expect a relationship. For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.