Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Once a Zbornak, Always a Zbornak

Dear BHBs:
My sister’s ex-boyfriend (they’ve been broken up for 3 years now) has the hots for me. He just got a job next door to my office, and occasionally I run into him on lunch break. He has asked me out twice now, and twice I have come up with lame excuses. He’s really cute, and I think we even have a little chemistry. I want to go out with him, but am afraid of causing “bad blood” between me and my sis. Should I go for it?

Dear Shady Sister:
Whether they broke up three years or one tearful month ago, the ex is off limits. She is your sister, and that’s just too important a bond to break.

When Dorothy Zbornak’s sister Gloria slept with her loser ex-husband Stan, Dorothy was understandably enraged, hurling insightful insults as only Bea Arthur can. We know this because we totally watch The Golden Girls every night at 10pm. (What, you don’t?) Stan is the bald, aging, novelty-salesman loser to end all losers, but he was still Dorothy’s ex, and Gloria should have kept her hands off. She realized this at the end, and the sisters had a heartwarming moment during a hurricane. Also during that episode, we learned from Blanche that during an emergency, hoarding the foodstuffs and selling it back to people at a ridiculous markup is a great way to make cash.

Really, is there anything The Golden Girls can’t teach us?

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