Black and White and Grey All Over

Dear Brutally Honest Babes:
Last night I was at a friend’s birthday party and a guy asked me out. He seems nice and is quite handsome. I hate to admit this, but I’m not sure if I can go on a date with him. I’m white and he’s black. I know it’s 2007, but I’ve never dated a non-white man and I know my parents would have a hard time with it. Should I go out with him?

Dear Ms. Grey,
You are a grown up. Of course you want to respect your parents, but they must also respect your rights and wishes. (Please tell us you do not still live with them!) Simply put, if you find yourself attracted to this man, go out on a date. If you are not attracted to him, don't guilt yourself into a date with him because you're afraid you'll look like a racist if you don't go. Easy peasy. He is a man and you are a woman. If you like him and he likes you and over time you develop a real relationship, THEN introduce him to Ma and Pa.

The Demi/Ashton Dilemma

Dear Brutally Honest Babes:
I’m almost 40 and recently met a man who is 29. We really connect, but he’s is 11 years younger than I am. I know a lot of older men date younger women, but I’m not sure about getting into a relationship with someone who will be 50 when I’m 60!

Dear No Spring Chicken with Young Cock,
If you want the guy, have him. See where it goes. You cannot know how you will feel about one another 10 years from now, so we say relish the moment in which you live. Yes, a lot of men date younger women~much younger women (look at Playboy Hugh); and a lot of women date younger men and it can work. Why ever not? Every relationship has good parts and not so good. We think the younger man's parts will prove to be part of the good! Hey, to hell with Viagra.

The Babes and "The Rules"

Dear Brutally Honest Babes:
I’m tired of waiting for men to ask me out. I’ve read The Rules, but I’m ready to break them. Would it totally turn a man off if I asked him out?

Dear Would-Be Rule Breaker:
We two BHB have discussed this very matter at length. We have very specific ideas on the subject. One of us bought “The Rules” for the other; the other followed it, and had to beat the men off with a stick. Many empowered women will tell you to ask a man out if you want to. We empowered women say do not ask a man out. Ever. We repeat: do not ask a man out. Men like to chase. That bears repeating as well: men like to chase! They cannot chase what chases them.

That being said, there are ways to achieve what you want. Being alluring yet slightly unattainable will make him work for you, which he will enjoy. You can in turns flirt then ignore (this worked for one BHB to catch her now husband), be sexy around him (sexy, not slutty), find out if you share any interests, etc. Put the idea into his head that you are made for each other, without ever coming out and saying it. Let him think it was his idea. Some might say this is game playing. It is! A Lady is entitled. She can be every feminine thing without being lesser than a man.

If these things do not elicit a date query, then perhaps it’s just not meant to be. Use your wiles on a more deserving specimen.

PS - Thank you for being our very first questioner! *Squee!*

Dear Someone Else: You don't like me! You Really, Really Don't Like Me!

Here at Brutally Honest Babes, we understand that at first no one has any idea who we are. So, we will take advice questions from other sites and answer the questions. Better. Below is an example.

Dear Cubicle Coach (Marie Claire):
I have a colleague who clearly doesn't like me. She makes lunch dates and small talk with pretty much everyone on the floor except for me. I don't know what I ever did. Would confronting her about it be mature and honest or drama-inducing?

Dear Ms. Needy:
Here’s a good life lesson that your Mother probably should have taught you: not everyone is going to like you. Here’s another: no one at work is obligated to like you, hang out with you, chat with you, lunch with you, or do anything other than work with you! Confronting her would be drama-inducing, yes, and also needy and awkward for everyone. You are sure to become an office joke should you proceed with this plan, so please don’t do it!

If you want to be friends with her, because you genuinely like her and not just because you feel left out, make more of an effort to get to know her. Ask her about her life & family. In other words, be friendly. You say she makes small talk with others… have you ever made small talk with her? Unless you’re just an ass and don’t know it, or have an unpleasant Patchouli smell or something, you’ll probably become her friend the natural way, not the crazy, demanding, gossip-inducing way you have suggested.

Dear Someone Else: Just a Little Harmless Ass Grabbing!

Here at Brutally Honest Babes, we understand that at first no one has any idea who we are. So, we will take advice questions from other sites and answer the questions. Better. Below is an example.

Dear Cubicle Coach (Marie Claire):
I work in a male-heavy office where banter often leads to sexual jokes about the female receptionist. I don't want to make a big deal of it, but I do think their talk is offensive. Should I just laugh along like one of the guys?

Dear Beatrice Arnold,
We here are BHB love the new show on AMC called “Mad Men”. It’s set in the early 1960s and is chock full of the sexual harassment women have been fighting to end for 40 years now. Well, all women but you. Bet your sweet-ass-in-that-tight-little-dress those same men are laughing along about you when you’re not around. I’m not sure how you missed this memo, but Sexual Harassment is against the law now! We don’t have to put up with that bullshit anymore. Google Anita Hill, grow some balls, and make a stand about it. How can you look the receptionist in the eye if you don’t? We suggest a tape recorder, to make the reporting easier. Document everything. For your receptionist’s sake, good luck.

Dear Someone Else: Eat a Freakin' Big Mac Already

Here at Brutally Honest Babes, we understand that at first no one has any idea who we are. So, we will take advice questions from other sites and answer the questions. Better. Below is an example.

Q: Is there such a thing as too thin?
Original A: Magazine "Teen Vogue" Rachel S., 17 (this answer is from a 17-year-old) Theoretically, yes, but I think all the starlets that magazines say are too skinny are really attractive. When Jessica Simpson was superslim, you could count her ribs, I thought she was pretty. It's sexy to see bones.

The Correct A: Dear Puking Up One Lettuce Leaf At A Time:
Yes. There is such a thing as too skinny. We are so saddened that young women nowadays have no idea what a normal female body should look like. Women are curvy. We are supposed to be. Men actually like that. We are soft and rounded and sexy and fertile. A woman who is nothing but bones and skin and implants is a freak. Reclaim your feminine features, chicas! Don't be extreme and pig out and become fatty blimps, just eat a normal balanced diet including protein, carbs, fruits and veggies, and yes now and then junk food, and do some moderate exercise and BE BEAUTIFUL. BE A WOMAN. We find it utterly amazing how our society (don't misread us here, we love America) creates problems for itself. I don't think annorexia or bulemia are really a problem in Ethiopa. There IS such a thing as too skinny. BE HEALTHY AND LOVE YOURSELF FOR IT!

Dear Someone Else: I think I'll Have Her A-La-Mode!

Here at Brutally Honest Babes, we understand that at first no one has any idea who we are. So, we will take advice questions from other sites and answer the questions. Better. Below is an example.

From Pig-Dogs.net: I love my boyfriend of 7 months very much, but how do I continue to put up with his online chatting with other women? He claims that he loves me and wants to marry me, but it is defect in him that he cannot seem to control. He treats me wonderfully otherwise and is everything that I have been looking for. How can we cure him of this?

Dear Cake,
A is always A. Your boyfriend says he loves you and wants to marry you. Your boyfriend chats online with other women (presumably romantically, or else what is the fuss about.) One of these is true. The other is not. If he has romantic chats with other women, on a regular basis, then he does not love you. You think love is an exclusive state. So do we. Yes, married people are not dead – they look sometimes. But chatting/ speaking/ acting on it is a different story. Find a new boyfriend. One who wants only you. You deserve that. Right now you’re the cake he has and he’s out looking for the Marie Callender’s.

Dear Someone Else: Dirty Double Standard

Here at Brutally Honest Babes, we understand that at first no one has any idea who we are. So, we will take advice questions from other sites and answer the questions. Better. Below is an example.

(from askJohnQ.com) I have been married for 5 years. I cheated on my wife twice. Last year she cheated on me for revenge. When she cheated it was with a man and a woman at the same time. A threesome. She was intimate with the woman as well. I am shocked that she was able to have sex with another woman. I feel like it makes her someone that I wouldn't pick for a wife. I'm no angel either, but I've never had sex with a man. I would have sex with 2 women at the same time but I wouldn't think that either woman was wife material. Can anyone tell me what to do?

Dear Dirty Double Standard,
We'll tell you what to do. Get a divorce. Sounds like neither you nor your wife have what it takes to be married. Being married is a big deal. You made a vow to be faithful to one another. If you and she want to sleep around with whomever or whatever whenever, then get a fucking divorce and then you can fuck all you want.

Dear Someone Else: Once I Go Black, Can I Go Back?

Here at Brutally Honest Babes, we understand that at first no one has any idea who we are. So, we will take advice questions from other sites and answer the questions. Better. Below is an example.

Dear Too Real Women:
I am a widow who lives in a very white, middle class neighborhood. I have met a man who is a different race and faith. I do want to date him but I am worried about what my neighbors will think. Should I just tell him that it is not a good idea?
Dilemma in the suburbs

Dear Suburban Dilemma,
It’s a terrible idea to date outside your race, and probably faith, too. You don’t really need a man. You can be comforted by your neighbors who are fun to cuddle with on rainy nights, you can share your deepest heart of hearts with, and who laugh at all your stupid WASPy jokes. Wait, they don’t? They are horrid, judgey assholes? Then what will become of you if you don’t indulge in your hot and steamy Jungle fever? Vibrators are no fun to spoon. Are you really going to choose your neighbors over a lovely, interested real live man? If they object because he’s a darker shade then they, then their opinions 100% do not matter. We think you should date your exciting new man, and that you should seriously ask yourself why on Earth you even considered someone else’s opinion over your own.

Dear Someone Else: I LIKE BOOBS!

Here at Brutally Honest Babes, we understand that at first no one has any idea who we are. So, we will take advice questions from other sites and answer the questions. Better. Below is an example.

DEAR E. JEAN (Elle): Excuse my frankness, but I want boobs. I’m 24 and still stuff my bra. My mom constantly tells me how dangerous implants are, and my friends tell me my body is fine; I’ve never heard a complaint from any man I’ve dated, so getting them done would be for me only. However, I’m obsessed. I think of them all the time. What do you think? Should I do it? —Enhancing What I Don’t Have

Dear Enhancing What I Don’t Have:
If you are truly obsessed with boobs, perhaps you are subduing latent lesbian tendencies? Get the implants, get a girlfriend, and the both of you do jumping jacks naked while listening to the “Otto Titsling” song on the Beaches soundtrack.

Dear Someone Else: Blue Suede Blues

Here at Brutally Honest Babes, we understand that at first no one has any idea who we are. So, we will take advice questions from other sites and answer the questions. Better. Below is an example.

The I-Want-to-Recycle-My-Cheapskate-Friend Problem
DEAR E. JEAN (Elle): For my best friend’s birthday, I gave her a gorgeous dress. Two days later, for my birthday, she presented me with the ugliest light-blue suede handbag imaginable. It looks like something she got for Christmas last year and then let sit around for 10 months, gathering dust and stains—it’s filthy. She’s supposed to be my closest friend! Do I buy suede cleaner and keep quiet? Or do I call her out on this?—Hurting in Hollywood

Dear Hurting in Hollywood:
Buy yourself some blue suede shoes with dust and stains on them to go with the friggin’ bag and keep your mouth shut. You’ll look hip and “vintage.” Besides, maybe your friend is poor right now and the yucky purse was the best she could do. Or, maybe she thought the “gorgeous” dress you gave her was truly hideous and she thought to repay you in kind. Taste is subjective. Next holiday arrange to buy each other gift cards of the same value to the same store. Boring, but fair.

Dear Someone Else: Riding My High Horse

Here at Brutally Honest Babes, we understand that at first no one has any idea who we are. So, we will take advice questions from other sites and answer the questions. Better. Below is an example.

DEAR E. JEAN (Elle): I earned a degree in political science, and it was the most poisonous department—full of small-minded, pessimistic people. After graduating, it quickly became obvious that my expensive degree would not get me a job. So now I’m attending graduate school, studying finance. I don’t like it and I’m not good at it, but at least it will guarantee me a career.

But should I even try to be rich? I won’t be happy unless I make the planet a better place. But how do I support myself and save the world, E. Jean? So many liars, bigots, and know-it-alls are screwing it up!—Running from the Rats

Dear Running from the Rats While Riding My High Horse:
You are obviously a wonderful, self-sacrificing, and truly amazing person~clearly much better than the rest of us schleps. We suggest you start your own religion. Yes, yes, we think being the self-appointed leader of a religious cult is just the career for you! Think of the potential you will have for earning some tax exempt dough via the offering plate, and also becoming savior of the world, AND condemning all the “liars, bigots, and know-it-alls” to eternal damnation! Oh, one thing more~Kool Aid got such a bad rap. Why not have your followers try Gatorade, or maybe Crystal Light instead.

Unsolicited Advice: Dear Britney Spears

We know, we know. Everyone is talking about Brit. But we’re a new blog trying to get hits, so putting Britney Spears in our posts is sure to increase hit count (Britney Spears naked, Britney Spears meltdown, Britney Spears alien abduction.)

Here at BHB think that Britney is on the right track completely. People seem to want Brit to claim her old career back. As she proved at the VMAs, she doesn’t want her old career back ya’ll! All that singing, recording, rehearsing, blah blah blech! It’s too hard. Paris (Paris Hilton naked, Paris Hilton meltdown, Paris Hilton is an alien) has proved that “work” and “ability” are not necessary for fame. And we think Brit’s Southern-fried performance art is the best thing we’ve ever soon! You can take the ho out of Cracker-ville, but you can’t take Cracker-ville out of the ho. She is both an entertainment and a public service. Fame whoring stage parents the world over can threaten, “Do you want to turn out like Britney Spears?” to their children. Kids in red states who don’t get Sex-Ed classes anymore now know what a hoo-hoo looks like! Don’t turn back now Britney! Keep up the nasty nasty good work.

Dear Someone Else: I Really Need a Life

Here at Brutally Honest Babes, we understand that at first no one has any idea who we are. So, we will take advice questions from other sites and answer the questions. Better. Below is an example.

Dear Cubicle Coach (Marie Claire),
I feel uncomfortable peeing and primping and what have you in the ladies' room if my supervisor is in there, too. Am I overthinking this, or would you recommend holding it until she clears out?

Dear Leery Pooper,
You are not over thinking this; in fact, you should think about it more. I can’t imagine anything else more important for you to deal with and think about than crapping or applying mascara in vicinity to your boss. The smells! The wands! It’s all so stressful. Although, when I first read your horrific tale of woe, I thought that maybe just peeking into her office to make sure she’s there before you go to the loo might avoid this exasperating situation altogether. But then, what would you think about? Life? Career? Sex? Family? No. It’s good you took the time to write us [er, Marie Claire.] We’re here to help. Hold it, my friend. Hold it and do NOT apply that blush. I’m sure your boss has no idea you fix your hair or pee. Better to keep her thinking that.

Dear Someone Else: Who Knew Condoms Prevent Herpes?

Here at Brutally Honest Babes, we understand that at first no one has any idea who we are. So, we will take advice questions from other sites and answer the questions. Better. Below is an example.

Dear GirlShrink,
After 2 years of friendship, I started dating a guy I really, really like. However, after our first sexual encounter, I contracted herpes from him. I was / am on the pill, he wore / wears condoms. I noticed nothing strange on his body. I can honestly say, we did everything right. We got through it, physically and emotionally, and after much discussion with each other and our doctors, I realize he did not give me an std consciously. My question is, can / should the relationship survive? We are both at a time and place in our life where we are looking to settle down and get serious. However, part of me can't seem to get over the fact that this virus will be with me forever and he's the one who gave it to me. What do you think?

Dear Why on Earth Didn't You Use a Condom, Idiot:
Why, oh why, do women do this? Just because he says he's clean or he "looks clean" that does not mean he is clean! Golly gee, I don't see the AIDS - it must not be there! Dipshit. There's only one way to guarantee a clean bill of health - make him show it to you! If he doesn't care enough to take a needle for you, he doesn't deserve to have you the really fun way a.k.a. sans condom. However, you have the big H now and there's nothing to be done. Might as well stay with him. Pill schmill - you cannot blame him. You are the one who did not take control of your own health and care enough about yourself to prevent this. Have herpes together and be happy. Maybe you can buy the Dynamiclear in bulk!

Dear Someone Else: OMG My Friend is, Like, Gonna be Britney Spears!

Here at Brutally Honest Babes, we understand that at first no one has any idea who we are. So, we will take advice questions from other sites and answer the questions. Better. Below is an example.

Dear Mrs. Web, My best friend wants to be a singer and she is really good. I 'm afraid that when we grow up, she might become famous and not remember me. What do I do?

Dear Cart Before Horse,
What about your friend makes you think that she might not remember you? She sounds like a bitch. Don't worry about this issue, as the real world of the music business will probably crush your friend and spit her out upon the casting couch from whence she came. If she does happen to get famous, look past her shallowness and be her equally-shallow entourage-like hanger-on, instead of her manager. That way you don't have to do any work. Start a clothing line with her so that you may profit from her fame and name it something stupid that's a combination of your two names. Then, when you aren't friends anymore due to her cocaine and cheeto filled meltdown at the MTV Movie Awards, write a book about her and appear on Oprah. Resist the temptation to run about underwearless. That's nasty. So stop hating on your friend because she's talented. Instead of going to college and making something intelligent of yourself, you can be a groupie. Doesn't that sound nice?